The online diary of a dreamer creating Contemporary Romantic Fiction - because Every Woman needs Love and Laughter in her Life.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

Things we Learnt at the Movies




THE EVIL OVERLORD DEVISES A PLOT’

Has several lists of key features which should be observed when creating a compelling plot.

For example:
1. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.
2. Women staying in a haunted house should investigate any strange noises while wearing their most revealing underwear.

3. Women's skin and hair can't be damaged by natural disasters, though their clothing can be shredded -- except for the bits required for minimal decency, which are made from completely indestructible fabric.

4. If a man and a woman are exposed to the same conditions and the same environment, the man will need to wear more clothing than the woman.

5. If a man and a woman meet under circumstances under which any two normal people would instantly hate each other, they will marry before the picture is over.

6. Deadly reptiles will always attack a woman first, even if she's in the presence of thirty men.

7. Women are immortal unless they take off their shirts or they're ugly.

8. If a woman takes a bath, bubbles will cover the naughty bits. If she takes a shower and reveals her naughty bits, she will die.

9. If a blonde and a brunette are in equal peril, the brunette will die.

10. High class strippers with a heart of gold can will, if the plot demands it, turn out to have specialized technical skills and abilities.


For lots, lots more go here: http://www.sff.net/paradise/movies.html and prepare to snigger.



What's playing on my YouTube Right now? Duffy. Mercy. http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=KE2orthS3TQ&feature=related

1 comment:

Debs said...

I love these observations, they're so true. The amount of times I start watching a film with the children and can usually tell them who is going to die first and what will happen to the main characters. Mind you that doesn't make me popular, as you can imagine and I enjoy a film far more when I'm wrong.