How to lay new turf

Having returned from a trip north, it was time to refurbish a small lawn at the front of the house in the following sequence of events;
* collect special new turf - delegate job of preperation of soil to female members of house
* remove tarpaulin and scoop off about 3 tons of gravel placed over lawn in spring to kill the grass
* discover ants nest under plastic- and ivy roots like rope, and tons of moss. remove by hand
* dig over soil, with fork, then spade
* put spade through a black wire running a few inches under surface of grass/soil - two ends of cable sticking out with exposed wires
* both of the telephone dial tones now silent
* work out that black wire is the cable media company telephone lines [ tv and broadband on cable okay] - we now have no phone
* use cell phone to call cable media company - no technician available until late Wednesday - so no telephone until then
* have to lay new turf before it dies. Thereby covering up exposed ends of broken cable.
* have nightmare re water/cable/main cable box in street supplying neighbours.
* admire new lawn.
* water new lawn and run back into house

* horrible smell in kitchen is the crumble mix in the oven - which has burnt.

Aren't holidays wonderful? So restful.